Sliding

I am slowly sliding. I can feel myself sliding.

I am losing control of everything: of myself, of my thoughts, of my emotions.

I'd never thought I would turn into a train-wreck like this.

Whatever went wrong along the way? I can't find myself.

I am slowly sliding.

Comfort Zone

Why did I ever leave my comfort zone?

I was safely tucked in my fantasy world for years. I created a huge collection of characters, each with their unique personality and back stories. Those years, I was completely honest when I said I was never bored. I had my stories to turn to.

Few months ago, I ventured out of my dreams. Thought I'd face the world as it is. I left my stories behind, slightly excited that I would no longer be as naive. Perhaps I'd grow up a bit.

I left them behind for months. These few months have been a terrible experience for me. I fell and couldn't- no, still can't - get up. I think that by leaving my dreams, I am leaving a whole part of myself behind. No wonder I am so lost.

I need to find myself back, even if it means I'll return to be that naive and immature girl, living in her own dream and not the reality. I can find solace in things that don't exist in real life, my own concoctions.

It's ironic how my characters are living the life I want, while I'm stuck in reality.

Why am I writing this? Perhaps I need a hand to help pull me through. I know people aren't meant to live in imaginations, but the reality hurt me and I'm afraid to go through it again.

Perhaps I'd rather stay stuck in my comfort zone forever. But I wonder, is that what I really want?